Dear Sadichha,
I am a 38-year-old woman, currently living with my children in Kathmandu. My husband passed away a few years back while he was on foreign employment. Now, it is on me to earn for the family’s living. My children are growing older, and I want to give them the best education possible. I was considering of using some of my husband’s property for my children’s education, but in-laws have been claiming their rights in the property, making it difficult for us. If I fight for my rights, I fear that my move will affect their reputation, and also the relationship they have with my children. So, I haven’t gone to the court yet. What do you think I should do?

I am sorry to hear what you have gone through. Do your in-laws know the reason you want to claim the property? Do talk to them clearly and openly about this topic, after all, you’re doing it for their grandchildren. Tell them how worried you are about your children’s future and how you want a good quality education for them. Maybe, they will help if they know the reason. However, despite your reasons, if they still do not want to help you or your children, please seek legal advice.  I am not a law expert, but I know that you can claim the property. As a single mother, please do seek all the help that you can with relatives or friends as it will not be easy once the case goes to court. Find all the help and support that you can get. And after the settlement is done, I would also encourage you to find work. You will need an income source for the future, not just for your kids but for yourself too. So, I would highly encourage you to seek work opportunities which will not only provide you with an income source but also keep your mind active and fresh. 

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 26-year-old guy and I am currently living in Texas, USA. I have been married for 6 years and we have a 3-year-old kid. I left my family and came here in hopes of a better future for my family. Things were going fine in the beginning, but I miss my son a lot, and the guilt of not being there for him in this crucial age bothers me. This guilt has been talking over my enthusiasm and I feel weary. I want to return home but also want to ensure a good life for my family. Could you provide me your advice on this matter?

How are things different from when it started? Everybody has self-doubts when making big decisions. You are working there away from your family, for a better future for your family. However, is it worth it? Being away from that very family, not being able to see them every day? For me, a happy family is when everyone is together, sharing meals together, and is with each other through thick and thin. I think both your wife and your son need you more than the money you send. You can always find work here in Nepal too. I am not saying that it will be easy. It might be challenging but at the end of the day, you will be home with your wife and your son. And that my friend, I believe is worth all the obstacles that come your way.

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 28-year-old girl. I just completed my bachelor’s and I am on a gap year right now. I started working and covering my tuition fees at the beginning of my bachelor’s education. My father is a diabetic, and both my parents are getting old. They are concerned about me and my marriage. Also, they don’t want me to spend any more on education. However, I want to study for a better career. I had applied for scholarships but did not receive any. How can I convince them about my future?

Firstly, your parents have to understand that the money you spend on education is an investment, rather than an expense. However, if we are to be practical then 28 years in Nepal is an age when parents do get anxious for their children’s marriage, especially of their daughters. So, it is not entirely wrong that your parents are worried about your future. I don’t know what your plans are regarding marriage, but if you don’t want to get married, please do talk to your parents about it. Let them know what your thoughts are, do you have somebody, or when do you think you will be ready for marriage? Talking to them will definitely be reassuring for your parents. In the end, your future is in your hands and the actions you take.

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 24-year-old girl. I stayed in a hostel throughout the course of my elementary to high school in India. But when I later came home and started living with my parents, I realized that I could not stay home with them as they seem to interfere in my life a lot, and I have lately started staying over at my friend’s place. It has been two weeks since I have been at my friend’s place and my parents have been calling me to come back. I don’t live with strict restrictions, kindly suggest me how I can overcome this problem?

I will start by saying something I heard a lot growing up “It is the people who love us and care for us who interfere in our lives for us to make better changes, the people who don’t care will remain indifferent”. Growing up, I was also really frustrated at times when I couldn’t live my life in my own terms. I really felt like my parents never understood me but looking back I realize that all they said and did was for me! It was for my good and I am forever grateful for that. At 24, you will probably feel like they don’t understand you and you have no freedom but try to look at life from their perspective too. Maybe they just want to spend more time with their daughter who is back after so many years. I request you to go back home and stay with your parents. Avoiding them will not be of any help. Communication is the key to any relationship! You need to have a two-way communication with your parents and express what and how you are feeling.