Dear Sadichha,
I am a 22-year-old girl from Butwal. I recently graduated from a college here, but I am keen to continue my master’s in Kathmandu. My parents don’t agree with my decision to move to Kathmandu as they are planning for my marriage. They want me to continue my studies only after my marriage. The guy who they chose for me comes from a well-off family but is not well educated. I am doubtful about my further studies after marriage. I am considering running away from home to live with my relatives in Kathmandu. Kindly write to me as your valuable advice will be much of a great help.

At your age, education should be your first priority. I am happy to know that education is your topmost priority. Have you tried sharing your dreams and plans with your parents? Try explaining to them why you want to continue your studies, and that you are too young to get married. Sometimes parents feel that someone else will be able to take better care of you, but they just need to see that you can take care of yourself, and take care of them too. Make them understand that education is the tool for a stable future. I really hope they see the importance of educating a daughter and not just marrying her off. It will be very challenging to study after you get married, especially if the guy himself is not well educated. Running away from your family and being on your own in Kathmandu is going to be very hard. Can’t the relatives you are going to stay with have a talk with your parents? Having their support in this will be a big help. However, as a last resort, if you don’t get the support of your parents, take the help from your relatives. I hope they will support your dream of studying.

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 35-year-old mother of two children. I used to work before my marriage, but I am a homemaker now. I enjoy the role of a mother. Now that my children are in their teens, I am gradually developing an interest to run a small business.  However, my husband is not happy with my decision to work outside home. I am trying my best to convince him but his decision has not changed. Please suggest me any way out of this dilemma? How can I convince him?

Why is your husband not satisfied with the idea of you working? If you are managing your home, and your teenage children can look after themselves to a certain extent, I think you should pursue your interest. And besides, if it’s about the children it’s the duty of both, the father and mother, to look after them. There needs to be equal participation, and one need not kill their interest to do something apart from raising their children. I think communication is the key when you are trying to explain your thoughts and ideas to someone. Get your husband to listen, and understand why it is important for you to do what you have thought of doing and how will you do it. Maybe there is something that is bothering him, so find a way to fulfilling your wishes, keeping the family happy. I have seen many women who are also successful entrepreneurs/employees and also amazing mom. They aren’t mutually exclusive, so you can also definitely be amazing at both.

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 21-year-old boy currently studying bachelors, first year. I had a gap year of three years after my high school as I did not want to continue my studies because of my family issues. My parents had frequent quarrels at home which made me want to leave home and drove my focus away from studies. They are very well aware of the fact that I am the one being severely affected by these acts but they can’t help themselves. I stay out from home most of the time these days in order to stay unaffected by their quarrel but I know I can’t ignore it throughout the course of my life. I don’t have any idea on what I should do to invite a little peace in my life.

Sorry to hear what you have been going through. If they are well aware of the fact that their fight is creating a problem in your studies and yet they don’t choose to do anything about it, I suggest you shift into a hostel for now. As a young boy of 21 who has already missed few years because of this issue, I think being away from home and maybe in a hostel would be a good idea. I know it may sound harsh and not like the suggestion you would want but if your parents can’t think about you and your future, you need to think about it. Always being in an environment where there is constant quarrel and fight is not a good environment for anyone, let alone a young student. So, why don’t you tell your parents that you have decided to stay in a hostel and see how they react? Maybe then they will understand how difficult it has become for you. Once they realize it, talk to them about how negatively it has been affecting you. Maybe then they will amend their ways, but if they don’t I do recommend to keep yourself away from issues that you can’t control.  

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 24-year-old girl currently in the final year of my bachelor’s studies. I like a guy who is my classmate in college. He is said to be dating one of the girls in college but he doesn’t seem to talk about her which makes me feel that they are only friends. He often shows some hints that he likes me but I am waiting for him to confess his feelings first. Some of his actions make me feel that he is interested in other girls while some make me feel the opposite. I don’t want to ask him directly as knowing about my feelings could affect his answers. However, I want to know what he actually thinks about me. Please suggest what to do?

My answer is very simple-talk. Talk to him and ask him if has a girlfriend. If he does, then there’s no point going after a guy that’s already with someone. If he does not have a girlfriend then tell him how you feel about it. Why is it that a guy always has to express himself first? A girl can do that too. If you really don’t want to talk to him then ask the ‘rumored girlfriend’ about him. You can even use his guy friends to find out if he is with someone. I encourage you to talk and not just assume. As human beings, we mostly assume things the way we want it to be. And more often than not, those assumptions aren’t right. So please spare yourself the misery and find out whether he is or is not available.