Guide to deal with person going through hard time

Published On: January 3, 2017 11:15 PM NPT By: Prasansha Rimal


Life is not only rainbows and butterflies. We all know this but growing up we all have hard time dealing with this hard reality. While trying to deal with difficult times an individual might suffer through stress or depression. And this is not the sign of weakness, it just means we are human beings and can’t deal with all the obstacles ourselves. So how does it feel when one goes through this tough time? No can answer this question without dealing with it themselves.  Different people have different reaction and mechanism while dealing with high stress situation some get aggressive and some even reach to the point of self harm.

Mental health plays important role in an individual because if a person is not mentally healthy , the person is not happy at all . They always feel like they are surrounded by cloud of shadow whatever they do or wherever they go but why do they feel so? I don’t have any answer to this neither will anyone , sometimes the person who feels this way

also may not have answer to this question. But there few things we as human beings, can do to help a friend or family member going through tough times.

Just listen
Whenever they talk to you listen to them. Don’t question them about their feelings because the chances are they might also not have answer to why they feel this certain way and  someone asks why , they might just get more confused and frustrated than they already are which is not healthy.

Look for cut marks
Is your friend or family member who is going through tough times getting distant from you. Are they all of a sudden fond of full sleeves shirt , even when you are dripping from sweat.

Chances are they might be trying to hide self harm marks and are embarrassed to talk about it. If you do see those kind of marks , don’t jus question them directly ask them how they are doing in life and slowly get them talking about their problem. Don’t decide for them but ask them if they need help and take them to the doctor.

Don't show sympathy
When you try to show pity and be sympathetic to an individual who is already going through nightmare , they might take it as an offense and get defensive. Don’t tell them that you understand their problem and you know how it feels because you simply don’t.

Instead of showing sympathy be there for them when they are on the verge of a mental break down or just try to remind them that they are special just by simply spending time with them.

Don't change your behavior
Don’t change your behavior towards a person who is themselves going through mental changes. Don’t try to be extra nice or smile all the time , this will probably make them feel abnormal and that there is something wrong  with them when they might just be going through a struggle in life.

Keep your philosophy to yourself
Don’t get philosophical and explain life is not all rainbows and butterflies to an individual who is going through storm. 

This will just irritate them and want to create distance.

Give space
Just because one day you find out that your friend or family member is dealing with stress doesn’t mean you just get to barge in ask them questions and try to make them feel better. It will just make them irritable and make them think that you have no right to do so. If they ask for space give them space , people dealing with stress already have enough in their mind. Let them be , think and decide. 


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