January 31, 2020 10:32 AM NPT
First of all, let us congratulate India for celebrating its 71st Republic Day with all the usual tadak-bhadak that comes with hosting a parade. I think our government should also do the same and not confine the usual Republic Day program inside Tundikhel. Our netas and Nepal Army should celebrate all parades out on the streets. Let us all stand by the sidewalks and clap, wave our flags and enjoy the parades outside Tundikhel. Why not host the celebration along the Ring Road route?
We can all be a part of the celebration instead of just wasting taxpayers’ money on gathering so-called VVIPs and foreign dignitaries to show them the same old natak every year? I think we should just do one parade a year. Let us not celebrate Democracy Day, Ghode Jatra, Shiva Ratri, Republic Day and many more in Tundikhel.
Let’s just celebrate one day and call it ‘Nepal Day’.
The government should then invite all of us for tea parties. Our local wards can host the tea party for its residents. Yes, for once, give us something back for the taxes we pay. A cup of tea and biskoot will make us happy. We are not asking for more like the near and dear ones of our chor netas.
We are lucky that we don’t have to celebrate Independence Day like all the former colonies of the commonwealth out there. But maybe time will come when we finally get the chance to celebrate our own independence from our good for nothing netas.
No, monarchy will not be making a comeback soon. If the House of Shah really wants us to remember them then Gyanu uncle should just write a check for 100 crores and give it to all the local wards in the country. Then he can ask our politicians to do the same with their illegal money. That’s how you win the hearts and minds of the people. Well, having fun at LOD also helps to show us that he is just one of us unlike our netas who are now our Shree Tins.
India gives us gifts all year round but when it’s time to celebrate the Indian Republic Day, the desis give us buses, ambulances and books. Our poor government needs to tell the Indian Embassy that it’s time to lift the level of gifts the desis hand out during their Republic Day.
This year, India gave us 36 ambulances, six buses, and tons of books to our social and educational institutions all over the country. Giving us ambulances and books for our libraries will not really help much. Well, it helps to take care of the sick and elderly and our kids will get to read new books apart from their textbooks but our government should be the ones providing free education and health care to its citizens and not be happy to receive ambulances and books as usual.
India has so far given more than 700 ambulances to social organizations in all 77 districts whereas our own government has not even provided adequate medicine and human resources to our health posts across the country. Our government can spend billions paying their cadres for medical treatment and so-called bhattas but can’t afford any money to provide ambulances to all our local units.
Dear netas, we are not beggars. Yes, we are happy to get free gifts but why can’t our own government fund such small things and ask for big gifts instead. Let us not just be happy with ambulances.
If India really wants to help then, it can fund all our health posts in rural areas. Well, we have to share everything with our chimekis. India can fund the health posts from the plains to the hills while we can get Chinese money for the health posts from the hills to the mountains. And what about Amriki money? Well, it’s just sad that our netas don’t want dollars because then the US Army will bring in their military and we will lose our country but we are happy to take our samosa and dumpling money for everything.
We have lost the cultural war with India. Our kids now learn Hindi thanks to Motu Patlu. Our youngsters follow South East Asian pop culture. And our civil servants and netas take chiya kharcha from our chimekis but they think the Amriki money will make us sell our souls to the devil. Maybe, we should just take fake Marlboros, fake dollars and fake nukes from the North Koreans instead.
Don’t be surprised to know that most of the kids and cousins of our communist and congressi and even Madhesi and Janjatinetas live in the West, be it US, UK, Australia or other European countries. I think we should ask these countries to deport them back to Nepal and then they can go to Cuba, Iran, North Korea and Venezuela instead. Yes, be a true communist, socialist or whatever you call yourself. Maybe it’s time for Nepal to have a capitalist party as well. Where are our byaparis? Throw away your fake VAT bills, stop funding our chor netas and instead open a political party with the profits made after paying the actual taxes.
If India really wants to help then it should not carry out blockades and give our exporters a hard time at the border. If India is really committed to partner with us towards socio-economic development of Nepal then it should not create obstacles when it comes to our trade with third countries.
Give us a break. Yes, Modi uncle, gift us like 100,000 electric buses so that all our public transport will use them and we will save quite a lot in purchasing fuel from India. India can partner with our universities and open our own version of IITs and IIMs and medical schools in all 77 districts so that our youth can also compete in the global stage and make millions more instead of working for peanuts in the Middle East. India can open 1,000 vocational schools so that our youth can learn a skill for life which will help them to provide for their families. Let us work together to create skilled labor here instead of just handing out thousands of scholarships, half of which goes to the near and dear ones of our chor netas and civil servants.
Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You can contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.