“I have had this enough. Either you are going to break the silence or I am no more yours,” read the message. I was terrified as soon as I read the text. I began to question myself, “Why do I do this to all the people I have known? Why don’t I maintain the sense of attachment? Why don’t I make her feel the same as she does to me?” 

I am a pathetic loser, a scumbag - for I have left every woman like they don’t matter. I have tasted their sweetness, listened to their talks endlessly but yet I don’t remember how it all started, how it all occurred to me that I was in love with them. The same moment I would be falling for them and I would be cursing myself for doing so. 

A psychopath, ha! That’s what my friends nicknamed me. Friends are your crazy head. I have made myself a big lie, an outsider while I keep playing those melancholic tones inside my heart and leave others unattended. 

We all remember the nicknames that our friends have given us, but never know the real reason behind those names. We are a big lie within ourselves. Had we been capable of facing the reality and not let our minds wander in search of our lame imaginative psychotic world, we would have progressed a long time ago. But there I was, still on the same chair with that text message.

Alright, here’s the thing. Let’s get this mess settled up. I am no more anyone’s private entity. I am what I am. I have a character of my own and I don’t want it to fade away as I don’t see any luckiest guy around me to have it in them. But here we are, in the colony of ants trying to be the first one to reach the destination. As if we are going to make someone come back to life, as if all the things that we have gone through will never be in the memories again. 

Well, people, let me make this thing clear. Run as much as you can. You know where you are running to. To the grave, fools! Ha-ha stupid people, they have made me stupid. I can’t stop blaming them for everything they do. Wait, you call others stupid and what do you make of yourself? An idealistic person with high intelligence, farsighted vision, an enlightened one in a journey to make other people saintly. Oh, mighty lord, bless this retard. 

Well, while other persons are running for something, you sit here all day looking the smoke go out of your bushy nostrils and those rotten lips. And you find that convincing enough to call another person stupid. Freedom eh! That’s your sick mind for you. No one will know what your ill mind is craving for, psychopath.

Well, you have that lady’s text on your hand and obviously her heart. Now play with it, you have made others your private entity retard. Err. Get off my mind, let me handle this. Wonderful, 20 text messages. I slept without texting back. I didn’t even know when I fell asleep.

A retard I am! I opened the text messages. The last message read “Well, you win sloth, a blood-sucking mammoth. Go find yourself in the mirror and let me know when you find you in your body psychopath. A lame mistake I ever made- I fell for you but the lamer one I can’t leave you.” 

Well, I am a retard, a psychopath, a blood-sucking mammoth. I took a bath, got all the booze from last night off my veins, threw up a couple of times and there I was finally running after something. This time it was after my crazy little piece of cake Sonya.