Let it grow

When my daughter began her school, so did I. I vividly recall the first day. A little nervous, a little anxious and a lot early, we joined the line of parents waiting for the school door to open.



The little one looked around at other children who were all dressed in uniform like her. They suddenly looked like big girls with their bags over their shoulders and a bottle strapped around their neck. [break]







Isn’t it a paradox that we cannot wait for our children to grow up, and and when they do, we feel how quickly time flew by? Well, while she walked into the school happily, I came out with a lump in my throat.



The biggest challenge for parents—typically of today’s generation—is letting go. Children grow up. Grown-ups don’t. It is interesting how a child grasps independence with her arms wide open. From taking pride in eating by herself to asserting her choices in food and dressing, the child is merely reminding you that she is not an extension of you but an individual in her own right. It might sound absurd, but it is not uncommon that a mother, on the other hand, gets clingier and even reluctant to let the child go.



This happens probably because of the changes in social fabric, higher disposable incomes, and the impact of information and communication technology. When we were children, our parents were engrossed with their responsibilities that come with a joint family. Reality talent shows for children did not get a chance to complicate our childhood.



 We grew up trying to figure out for ourselves what we wanted. But now, there is a shift from joint families to nuclear families, and these families increasingly have just a single child. So, it is not surprising that parents are simply getting obsessed about their children.



We as parents are constantly thinking about our children. Here is how early it all starts. Mothers start listening to classical music when they have babies in their wombs. Not that there is a sudden spurt of mass interest in that genre of music, but because children who listen to classical music in their mother’s womb are supposed to be born with higher intelligence.



 We hunt for the best books for the toddlers, sign them up for various classes such as music, dance, and story-telling, not because the child wants to, but because we want it for our child. We are already heaping expectations on the little shoulders, let alone the time when we will fret over their report cards or nudge them while watching a Little Champ show.



Parents often justify their expectations by saying they are going that extra mile in raising their children. I am sure we see ourselves as better parents than our own parents. It is not surprising that parents today do not even wait for their children to make wishes. Our generation seems to have taken up a new mantra, you shall be given before you ask.



Most of us are probably trying to make it up for our own childhood when we were denied certain things for so many reasons. It is not the child but yourself that you are pampering when you buy him his first bicycle or a gaming console. But do we realize how it is affecting the young minds? The children no longer need to earn a reward. They might just grow up believing that they are entitled to all good things without slogging.



Amid all the love we shower on them, we must not lose sight of the child as an independent person. We must take the oath not to try to turn them into a dream image of ourselves. Every now and then, time gives a gentle reminder that my little fledging is preparing to fly. Amid our reading, painting, singing and dancing, she begins to create her own space. I reflect that she is weaving her own world with a mind of her own.



The proof is right there, her tiger has pink spots, and her zebra has horizontal stripes. It is time for me to buy myself a new notebook. We must both do things independently. I withdraw from her play area. After a long time, I am listening to music which is not a nursery rhyme. While the three year old potters about, picking a book here and coloring the wall there, Eric Clapton runs on the background. Let it grow, let it grow, let it blossom, let it flow. The song holds a new meaning for me today.



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