If I had one more chance to be with you dad, I would do the things that would comfort you.
“Love and death are the two uninvited guests, when they will come nobody knows. But both do the same work, one takes heart and the other takes its beats”- Joseph Buluran
October 16, 2020 was the deadliest nightmare in our lives. It is the day my dad’s life’s journey came to an end. I lost the best teacher, who showed me where to look but never told me what to see. He lost the battle against the deadly Covid-19 virus that attacked him, seized him, and left him feeble. He fought on and on for 16 days. Those cells that held him for 56 years could not defend him anymore. He lay on the hospital bed breathless. Regardless of the enormous efforts and our prayers, magic did not happen. All in vain. My dad took his last breath and vanished away leaving us in despair.
Dad, I am sorry I could not help you get out of the pain you had. I could not share your troubles and agonies. I could not ask dad how painful it was for you to lie on a deathbed like that. I could not feel your unspoken words and unexpressed emotions. I still get numb when I realize I will not be hearing the word ‘Kanchho’ from you anymore. I do not want to recall the day you went away from our vicinity. But I promise you, I will take care of your soul mate; our best friend with whom we used to have happy chats together. Those serious conversations, raptures and wisdom talks still muffle my ears. I cannot bring the old days back, but they remain as a souvenir in my life, utmost cherished and priceless. My dad, though death has separated you from me, you are together with me by the eternal love and by all those treasured memories.
Life has not been that easy after you left us. Our days have become the gloomiest ever and nights have been the scariest of all. Our flowers do not bloom these days and our sun barely disperses its rays. Only the wind jolts, to and forth. Nothing breaks the heart like the void in our lives. But our fate was destined to walk through these sorrows and thrones on the way. All we could do now is to accept this law of nature and move on. I miss you every day, my dad.
Now, I have realized the pain of losing a parent and the value of every millisecond of being with a family. I have recognized the worth of inner peace and solitude. Reminiscing you living a peaceful life, I have understood the power of positivity and kindness. I have started to thank the Lord each day for giving me another day to breathe again. Every breath I took till date was priceless and every breath I will be taking will grip me to attain my life’s purpose. Moreover, I began acknowledging the difference between living a grateful life and a forceful life. I also understood how important the time is. Every quote of life seems meaningful to me now.
I have understood the power of accepting the truth and moving on. I now can feel the pain of people struggling to live a better life. You have taught me that life is all about learning and exploring the dimensions of conscience.
If I had one more chance to be with you dad, I would do the things that would comfort you. I would enjoy every moment spent with you, share all my feelings and listen to your life-melting stories. Every day I would tell you how special you are to me. Thank you for carrying all those barricades and stones that obstructed my journey. Someone rightly said “Those we love don’t go away/They walk beside us everyday/Unseen, unheard, but always near,/Still loved, still missed and very dear.” I think of you in the same way. I remember these lines from Baz Luhrmann’s song too: “Get to know your parents, you never know when they will be gone for good.”
To everyone who is reading this post, let me tell you: Spend time with your parents and loved ones. You may not get another chance to see them. Life is unpredictable, cherish the things that you own today.
Dad, be in peace, wherever you are. I love you so much! Goodbye dad, until we meet again.