Preety Subedi

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Published On: December 22, 2020 06:36 PM NPT By: Preety Subedi

Without you

Without you

My heart felt very heavy, millions of thoughts were going on in my brain. I was drowned in the dark ocean of my own thoughts. I did what society suggested to me.

I had lost something outside of my control, I lost you. It was hard for me to digest what had happened in the past few months. Promises were turned in to empty words in the end. Dears were now strangers and strangers had grown closer. I needed a break. I was on the terrace. Soft and cold breeze passed my face. Stars were shining their brightest. It had no regrets and no fears. I spread my fingers in the atmosphere. I wanted to touch those stars. I wanted to borrow happiness and warmth from it.

Those days with you were perfect. Those days it felt like the sun was brighter and warmer. The Food tasted better and the moon seemed happier. Parks were more fun to be at; swings were fun to be busy with. I felt like I was the luckiest girl in the world when you called my name. My heart used to skip a beat when you used to wink and give a shy smile. It was fun to fly paper airplanes. It seemed like there was fun in every little thing around me. You had added color to my colorless life. I had hated life until you came and showed me how to appreciate it and live it to its fullest.

These days you are far away from my reach. Your hands are not on mine. Your eyes are not meeting mine. Your comforting aura has disappeared. I meet hundreds of people I know every day yet I feel empty and lonely. It feels like time is passing slowly. My heart feels cold while viewing our photos. I read my journal again and again to feel the same again. Memories were easier to make but now it's hard to forget. But the page of life has to be turned over.

I am trying to escape; I am getting busy with my studies and losing myself in studies. I am trying to be consumed in the work I do. I am trying to motivate myself through the heartbreak. I believe no matter how bleak my situation is, it is not the end of the story. I am treating this period as winter and expecting spring to come soon.

article, heavy, feelings,

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