Aayuska Shrestha

Published On: January 14, 2022 04:40 PM NPT By: Aayuska Shrestha

Looking into my mind

Looking into my mind

I lay in my bed at night
I can't sleep,
As the thought run into my mind.
Thoughts about the past.
Those scenes repeat and repeat,
as if someone put it on a loop
A loop that cannot be broken.
I start grieving as I couldn't be the one I expected.
For all the happy moments turned into sad ones
I don't know when and I don't know how
but it happened and I can't sleep now.
Why do these thoughts come at night?
disturbing the peace of night howling in my ears.
Pulling me into the darkness
I cry for help but I've fallen so deep 
that my screams aren't heard 
and all I'm left with are my shredded tears.
I fall asleep as the loop hypnotizes me.
And I wake up with the fear.
Fear of not becoming who I want to be.
 

ponder, slammed, thoughts,

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