2 years ago
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2 years ago
Life after coming back…
When I started my educational journey far away from home back in 2009, I was a proud girl. Something that I wanted so badly was about to come true. Like many aspiring young Nepali students, I also dreamt of going abroad and decided that this is where I want to live for the rest of my life. The American dream had just kicked in but the road was not easy. Like any other student I decided to enroll myself in a consultancy, took my TOEFL exams and applied for my I-20, but I never applied for the visa.
Some family drama and issues led me to quit my American dream and instead I switched over to my ‘Plan B’. The plan was to study in India. I enrolled myself into a girl’s college in Bangalore. This was by itself a spontaneous choice since I ran out of options. Once I got through, my biggest concern was how would I cope up in an all girls environment? I left home happy and full of hope but life away from home is not so easy. Culture shock, food issues and college schedules did take a toll on me. I lost enormous amount of weight, I was not an independent child but here I was, miles away from home, left with no other options but to be independent. Making new friends and trusting them was another hurdle, but I was lucky enough to have found friends that I could rely upon. Three years of under-graduate life passed away in no time. Next two years of post-graduation was again another different hurdle. College schedules, assignments, attendance, and exams… everything was so pressurizing. I still wonder how I survived them. Having spent so much time away from home and learning various aspects of life not only as a student, but life on a daily basis, money management etc. taught me many things.
As much as I was enjoying my independent life, I was also looking for financial independence, a job. This was something that taught me the biggest lesson. I decided to stay back in India and work but my family wanted otherwise. I was given a list of points which read why I should return back to my own country. Although, these points were valid but I still call myself an emotional fool for believing them. Once, I decided returning back was the right thing to do, there was no looking back.
After coming back, things did not come easy. I suffered from mental distress for almost a year. I tried to grab as many opportunities as I could but it looked like luck was not on my side. I wanted to give up and even gave up trying, fought with my family just because they were the ones who lured me to come back. Feeling unsatisfied and comparing my life with my friends was my daily task. I was saddened that the same friends with whom I studied are getting enormous opportunities. Meanwhile, I was ignored all this time. I became a grumpy soul and till date this situation has impacted me deeply. Every now and then I still feel I didn’t make the right choice, because this wasn’t a part of my plan. But life moved on. Now that I am married I have a kid, I realized that life had some other plans for me.
Looking back I don’t regret anything. As much as I would like to go back and re-start my life, I have also realized that coming back has given me so many things. Even though it took a lot of time, I have a job which I enjoy. I also co-founded an NGO with my friend that works for street puppies. I have a loving husband and a son now. Yes, life would have been different, but I feel content with the life I have now. I am always hoping to do better and grow with time.