Dear Sadichha,

I am a 37-year-old guy and I currently run my own business. I come from a rural family and I migrated to Kathmandu with the hope of being established. I have spent almost two decades here and I have been  successful with my professional life. I was focused in my profession and paid almost no attention to the romantic sides of life. After decades, I finally own a business of my own. But now I’m worried if I will ever have a family of my own. When I am occupied with my work, I feel better but as I’m free, I get thoughts on how I might end up alone. Could you suggest something suitable for me?

The thought of living your life alone can be scary for some people, especially if one is the type to look for companionship and values relationships and bonds. Relationships take time and now that you feel like you are more settled and have time at your hand, you can focus on building relationships. Don’t look for someone to settle down ASAP, take it slow. You can start by participating in social events and activities. Start making friends or maybe reconnect with the old ones that you have. Don’t get married or look for someone just for the sake of it. There has to be a connection for it to last for a lifetime. I would encourage you to go out more, and make time for your friends and family.

Dear Sadichha,

I am a 32-year-old working lady. I have switched many jobs throughout my career. I have been working with my current employer for a year now. I decided to quit all of my past jobs in search for further excitements. But I never matched my expectations. I couldn’t find what I expected. Although I have spent a lot of my time and energy here, I don’t feel as rewarded by my work despite all my efforts at work. Lately my passion for work is degrading and I don’t really like going to work every day. I have thought of switching my job again. But I feel I cannot be doing this forever. Could you please suggest me?

There is nothing bad in moving on from one job to another, especially in search of better opportunities and growth. If you feel like it might not be the job but you want, then I would recommend that you take a break from work. Don’t quit your current job. Rather, take a break, a holiday and go somewhere. This will give you some time to reflect on yourself and the choices that you have made so far. I am not saying that you have to adjust to a work environment that you don’t like, but you do however have to realize and know what it is that you don’t like and aren’t happy with. That’s the only way you will know what to look for the next time you switch jobs.

Dear Sadichha,

I am a 23-year-old girl and I am currently working at a Kathmandu-based organization. I have been in a relationship with a guy for quite some time now. We completed our college a year ago and I started a job, while he wants to pursue his education abroad. He is planning to go abroad but that would require him to get a marriage certificate, thus getting married to a random girl. Although it is not real and they are not going to live together, I am not really feeling comfortable on the idea. I also don’t want to ruin his dreams by expressing my anger. But it does not make me feel good thinking about it. Please help!

If it doesn’t make you feel comfortable, then talk to your boyfriend. I am glad that you are also thinking reasonably about it when you mention that you know it is not a real marriage and that he is doing this only to go abroad. You should however talk about it and make things clear with him. Also, long distance will not be easy. Both of you will have to work extra-hard for it. Maybe after his studies he will decide to work and settle there. What are your thoughts then? You do not need to know all the answers to these right away, but you do have to think about them. Clear these issues before they escalate and turn into bigger misunderstandings. I am sure your boyfriend will also get where you are coming from. So, communicate well and spend quality time together before he leaves.

Dear Sadichha,

I am a 30-year-old guy. I recently met a woman of my age at work and we were into each other after getting to know each other. After spending some time together, I came to know that she is a single mother. I have no problem with that and I am willing to get married to her but my parents are not happy with the decision. However, we are committed to each other and planning to move forward. Skipping challenges is not the solution. So we are trying to convince them but it doesn't seem to work. Please tell me what can be done?

If you (someone who is going to spend the rest of your life together) don’t have a problem with it, then I don’t see it as a problem. If the two of you have decided to be together and move forward, stick to it. Give your parents some time to think about the relationship. Talk to them on why they are not accepting your relationship, what really is the issue. They might not be accepting this because of “what the society will think” or “what will the relatives think”. If it is that, then you should be able to easily convince them to think about the happiness of their own son above anyone else. At the end of the day, parents do care about their children and their happiness. So, I do feel like if you are able to convince them, everything will eventually turn good as you will have them by your side when you get married. If not, the two of you are adults and can take a decision on your own even if your families are besides you or not.