Published On: September 5, 2018 08:37 AM NPT By: Laxman

Heart to heart with Sadichha: Learn to embrace your differences

Heart to heart with Sadichha: Learn to embrace your differences

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 32-year-old woman currently working in a good position in an educational institution. I have been working there for the past four years. I believe I have sincerely performed all of the duties and responsibilities that the position required until now. But now I am planning to quit my job because the work environment has grown unhealthy after the arrival of a new senior staff. He seems to look down at all the other staffs at work. I have been tolerating till now but I don’t think I can bear this any longer, so I have decided to quit the job. I have been applying for other jobs and waiting for the positive response. Do you think I should risk quitting my previous work?

You should not let one person make you decide that you want to quit your job. How is he making an unhealthy environment? I think as a part of the institute, you can also have a conversation with him and inform him how his behaviors are affecting others. Why don’t you and the other staffs, who are affected by his behavior, talk about this with the board of the institute? See what decision the management takes. Or maybe after your confrontation, he will change his behavior. However, if you have decided and aren’t at all happy to work there, I think you should wait until you find another job. If you can avoid him, do that. These obstacles and challenges might be present in your new job and in life as well. We need to learn to deal with these problems without letting it affect our lives. So, avoid the person if you and your colleagues can do that. If he still continues to misbehave and look down on you, do confront and complain about it.

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 15-year-old guy currently studying A-levels in a reputed college in Kathmandu. I have been living in a rented room here, and have never felt as such before; recently I feel homesick. I am having such feeling frequently these days due to which I am not being able to concentrate on my studies. And I also have to study and need to do all things on my own, so I am feeling under pressure. I feel that I was in need of good advice on this so I thought of writing to you. I really look forward to your suggestion on this.

First of all, I want to tell you that I am very proud of you for being so independent at such a young age. I went to Thailand for my masters when I was 24 and I was still homesick and missed my family so much. So, I can understand what you are going through. Do you talk to your family every day? If not, I suggest that you share how you are feeling with them or how your day went by. Maybe, your parents can come to pay you a visit soon. Don’t feel like you will be burdening them by requesting that. I think as a teenager, of 15-year-old, your family would also like to see you. It is difficult living alone, but let me tell you, these challenges are going to teach you life lessons that no classroom can. So, don’t stress, take one day at a time. Enjoy this process of growing and when it gets hard, talk to your family about it. There’s no shame in admitting that it’s difficult but never keep things bottled up. I can already see how beautifully you’ll grow up to be an adult. All the best and hugs.

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 23-year-old girl. There was a friend of mine who I used to closely get along with at work. I fully relied and trusted on her but after a small discussion, she stopped talking to me. This hurt me and I did not initiate to talk to her again. After some time, she came to me and asked for some help. We had a good talk and I thought everything was back to normal now. But it was later that I realized that she had only approached me to seek for help in her bad times. It was hurtful but I have decided not to hold any grudges and move on without her.  My problem is I get really close with people that I happen to get along with. How shall I help myself?

It’s normal to feel attached to your friends and it is just human to be close with your friends who have been in your life for a long time. Misunderstandings happen amongst people who are closest to us. However, in those misunderstandings, no one becomes small by being the first one to say sorry, or by trying to clear those delusions. We all have differences that are what makes us human. So, I would suggest you talk to your friend and see if she is doing okay. Maybe she really needs a friend and feels bad and doesn’t know how to talk to you. You’ve done a great job by not holding grudges as it just fills us up with bitterness, holding grudges brings people down and it’s not healthy. However, you can maintain certain distance until and unless you know that those are true friends that will be with you through your thick and thin and support you. 

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 20-year-old boy and I have been diagnosed with mild depression four months ago. My doctor has recommended me to think positive, express my thoughts, and to have healthy conversations with people. I really like a girl in my college but I can’t confess her my feelings because I don’t think I can handle being in a relationship if she says she likes me the way I do her. And I think this will also hamper my studies. I have no idea if I should wait for some more time to get recovered to take any step further. Please help.

The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.  My suggestion to you in this situation is to get to know yourself better and try to better your mental health. This doesn’t mean I am discouraging you to confess your feeling to the girl you like but like you very rightly wrote yourself, maybe this is not the time. I suggest you practice what the doctor has recommended to you. Read books about positivity and how to keep yourself motivated and focused. This is the time to invest in yourself, for your growth. Take help of your family and friends to be better and also keep yourself occupied with studies and challenges that will keep you motivated. Once you are more confident and feel readier for whatever the answer might be, you can then express how you feel.

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