Dear Sadichha,

I have known a girl from the past 2 years. We became good friends over Facebook. I really like her. We talk a lot. Telling her how I feel is one of the toughest things that I can think of. I am just scared if she stopped talking to me. It might simply ruin things. And at the same time, I also want her know how I feel. It’s just hard.

It’s often how we think of things in our head that makes it look like a bigger problem than it really is. Telling someone how you feel might seem like a dreadful task at times. But it’s something that needs to be done. Rather than wondering what if, or what might happen, just say it. Of course, use your words carefully and try not to overwhelm the other person. However, do get it out of your chest. Talk to her, write to her and see how she feels about it. Do get ready for whatever the answer might be. If she feels the same way about you, then the two of you can decide how to take things forward. And if she doesn’t, try not to be bitter about it.   If possible look at its bright side.

Dear Sadichha,

I am 16 years old student from Kathmandu. People call me a guy, but I really don’t think I am. I think I am something different. I really want to tell my parents about my identity. Also, I cannot keep a secret forever. What if they disown after hearing the news? I am just confused.

I think you will need to talk to someone you are close to, maybe your parents or your friends, regarding how you have been feeling lately. It’s good to share. I know that there is always the fear of being judged. But that shouldn’t stop you from expressing yourself. Your parents will not disown you; our parents are probably the only human beings in this world who love us unconditionally. Of course, as a natural instinct, you have thought about the worst things that could happen. But you might also be welcomed with open arms and loved even more. So, clear this confusion. Be open about who you really are and how you really feel.

Dear Sadichha,

Being in Nepal Army has always been my dream. However, my parents don’t allow me because “I am a girl.” My parents were okay at first. All the problems began after my relatives talked to my mom. I don’t know if my relatives don’t want me to succeed. I so want to be in Nepal Army.

There are so many strong, amazing women I know who are in the Nepal Army! Being a girl doesn’t and shouldn’t stop you from going to Nepal Army. There will always be people who will have an opinion about how you should live your life. But I think that’s when having 2 ears comes to play- you listen from one and let it out from the other! If you are serious about getting in the army, I suggest you find women, girls who have joined or are a part of the Nepal army and listen to their experience. Talk to your parents about it, and tell them the reasons due to which you want to join. They are your parents after all. Once they realize that you are serious about it and have thought it through, they will definitely be supportive!

Dear Sadichha,

I stammer a lot while talking. Whenever I talk to people or share something in front of my class, they (including the teachers) laugh. Teachers are the main ones, by the way. It really hurts. I really hate my class mates and teachers. They are really very mean.

How long have you been stammering? Is this since you were a child or is it when you have to speak publicly? I do believe that with therapies and practice one could improve the condition and be more fluent in speaking. I suggest you look out if these treatments are available in Nepal, not because your friends make fun of you but for yourself. People will always find a flaw in anything we do or say. Don’t let their actions bother you. I know it must be challenging and very difficult at times too. I don’t understand why do the teachers do it? If you have a counselor at school or you share this with your parents and have this issue brought to the attention of the management, I am sure that things will change for the better. People need to be aware and informed about these things and need more compassion in general. Again, don’t let people’s reaction bother you; they will always have one or the other thing to say.