We are a team of professional management and journalists — one of the best in the Nepali media. Our duty toward our readers is to provide them with impartial news, bold views, in-depth analysis and thought-provoking commentary. We shall do this without fear or favor, and we shall be guided by nothing but our conscience.

Know More

Latest Article By Author

Published On: July 25, 2018 07:51 AM NPT By: Republica

Don’t be hard on yourself

Don’t be hard on yourself

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 19-year-old girl and I completed my high school recently. I have been applying abroad for further studies, but my IELTS score was just average. I have been told that I should apply for a dependent visa which would increase my visa chances. With all these things starting to appear in my mind, it has put me in pressure. I have already spent a lot of money, effort and time on the visa processing. What should I do?

If you are confident that you can get better scores, why don’t you give the IELTS examination one more time? Also, have you tried for your visa yet? Or are you just speculating that you will get denied? I suggest you try for the visa first and then based on the results, contemplate on other options. These procedures aren’t easy and it does take a toll on your physical and mental health. So, I suggest you don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You are 19; remember that not getting a visa is not the end of the world. I believe that sometimes things don’t go according to our plan because there are greater things waiting for us.  So, apply for your visa first the way you are planning to. If that doesn’t work out, you can apply for a dependent visa. If that doesn’t work out too, dust yourself and look out for colleges here in Nepal, and you can always go abroad for Bachelor’s or Masters. 

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 24-year-old boy and I am currently living in Kathmandu with my wife. We got married a year ago but haven’t been able to live together since my workstation was out of the valley and she worked here. Currently, I am not employed and am looking up for some opportunities. I have found an attractive offer but the base station is away this time too. I don’t really want to leave and my wife is completely against the idea of relocating, but I think it is important for me to work now so that we can have a better future. What would you suggest?

Maintaining a sound long distance relationship is difficult, especially if you are newly married and haven’t even got the time to spend the first year together. It is very normal for your wife to be against the idea. If you were single, you could have taken up the job without consulting with anyone. However, you have a life partner; your wife also has some say in it. So, why don’t you talk to her and figure out ways of working it out?  Long distance relationships are challenging but, if two people give in their all, it should work out for both of you. I don’t know how long you have until you can confirm for the job, but in the meantime, why don’t you look for something in Kathmandu. Maybe you’ll find an equally good opportunity here. Or maybe, look at the possibility of your wife being with you out of the valley, in your workstation. You will have to find a balance between personal and professional life. 

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 28-year-old guy currently living in Bangalore, India. I have stayed here for past few years to complete my degree. During my long stay here, I fell in love with a girl here. She belongs to a Brahmin family, originally from Bangalore. None of our parents have agreed on our relationship. We are capable of earning for ourselves and want to get married, but we’re waiting for our parents’ consent. Both of our families are quite strict. Please help.

Do you know the reason your parents are against this relationship? I respect the fact that both of you want your parents’ consent and the only way to get that is by explaining to them your situation. It might be because the girl’s parents’ think that once she moves back to Nepal, it might be difficult for their daughter to adjust to a new environment. For your parents, it might be because they don’t really know her. So, I suggest you meet the girl’s parents and build a relationship with them. Marriage is a bond not just between two people but two families as well. If you do really want your families to accept each other.

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 43-year-old woman and my husband is currently working abroad. We have a daughter and a son. My daughter is 19 years old and she recently ran away with a boy and they got married. Although I am left with no other option but to accept it, I am immensely worried regarding their future. My son in law isn’t employed yet. He recently graduated from college. I wanted them to be responsible and independent first, but I don’t see that happening ever. I am very much hurt by what she’s done. It worries me a lot thinking about her future. I can’t figure out what I can do to make the situation a little easier?

As a mother, I know it must have been a difficult situation for you to accept. I am glad that you have accepted their relationship. However, one of the first things I want to tell you is to convince your daughter to continue her studies so that she can find work and be independent later on. She is just 19, so she needs to realize the importance of being well educated and independent. You haven’t mentioned how old the boy is. If he is old enough to start working then maybe you can help him find work and get them settled. Since your daughter is quite young, I hope you meet her regularly and guide her. 


Send your questions to or with the subject line “Gennext-Heart to Heart with Sadichha” or post it on our facebook page at

dont, hard, yourself,

Share on Facebook

Share on Twitter

Leave A Comment