Published On: November 29, 2017 09:04 AM NPT

Communication prior to reconciliation

Communication prior to reconciliation

Dear Malvika,
I am a 24-year-old girl. I completed my BBS studies from a campus in my village. I am
currently at my hometown for my further studies.I’ve always wanted to work, but when I finally got one it affected my studies. Now, I don’t think I can complete my studies due to the job. I know my family cannot manage the expenses for my studies so I desperately need a job. This situation has led me into a dilemma. I understand that there are other courses that cost far less money than MBA, but I don’t want to switch courses. Please give me some good suggestions to overcome these confusions.

There are a few options that you can try. One is talk to the college for a scholarship, and see if that can be provided. If that happens then you can try and get a part time job. The other is talk to your office and see if they can be flexible with the timings for you. Also you can take a year gap with studies and work till then, save all the money and choose to study later too. You haven’t mentioned where you are studying at the moment. For working professionals EMBA is a better option which allows them to work and study at the same time. Communicate with your college and work area. If you are a student with a good study grade then there are other options we can follow through. If you are interested do write to me personally with your profile, background and financial status to and we will see where we can do with this.

Dear Malvika,
I am a 24-year-old guy currently in
relationship with a girl who is five years elder to me. From the beginning of our relationship, we both used to quarrel and stopped talking for some days. This happened quite often and I started thinking that it might be due to our age gap. We quarrel over petty issues and after two years of being together, I find it very difficult to reconcile with her. I feel that we have lost the value of our relationship and the understanding between us. Is it because of the age gap? Please give me your suggestions.

Relationship status necessarily isn’t determined by the age gap but by the maturity with which you handle it. What are your goals and ambitions in life? Does it match? Do you have similar tastes, interests and shared values? These are the questions you need to ask yourself. I wish you had mentioned the issues that you fight over and how you reconcile. You have to know how to handle your partner and be able to know how to reconcile as well. Not everyone is the same and if you feel like you can’t do this anymore then it is your choice. So why don’t you sit down and talk about what behavior of yours bothers or annoys her the most. You also need to tell her what you don’t feel right. It’s about communicating and coming to a reconciliation where both of you respect and love each other. 

Dear Malvika, 
I am a 35-year-old single woman. I am not dating anyone but my family is already
excited for my marriage. I want to get married but I have not found my especial someone till now. I am an introvert and therefore don’t socialize much so it might be the reason that I am single for this long. My family members have been on a hunt for my match and I have a mixed feeling on that matter. On the one hand I feel that I certainly would not want to marry that person who I met on purpose for marriage as I find it fake.While on the other hand, I feel that I should give a try anyway. I am confused on what to do. Please help me.

There is only one way to find out. Meet few guys and see how it goes. So many guys do the same thing. I know of a friend who met 40 different women in his quest to find his wife and finally he is getting married now. Not everyone settles down by dating generally. If you feel like you are an introvert then maybe arrange marriage could be for you. But I hope you will be able to communicate with the person that your parents set you up with. So get to know them better and see if your values match or not. You can always say no to that. We live in a day and age where freedom of speech is a must. So speak up with these guys and see how it goes. You never know, you might end up liking someone. 

Dear Malvika,
I am a 26-year-old girl currently residing in the US. I came here seven years ago to complete my graduation which I have completed three years ago. I did not want to return home as I was planning to find a job and settle down here. But I have not been getting the job that I desired for
inspite of having good grades in my bachelor’s studies. I have tried giving interviews, but it seems like my phase of struggle is not yet over. Sometimes thinking if I had returned Nepal after my studies, I would have grown so much into work till now which makes me let go off everything and just return home. What would you suggest on this matter?

So after four years if you feel like you haven’t received the job that you desire then it’s time to experiment. There are two ways to go about it. Change the state that you are living in and look at other places. If nothing works out then we would love to have you here in Nepal. What you have learned could be of great use for the country. I always encourage young people to come and work here after their studies and that is what I will tell you. You might prosper here a lot with your education and expertise. With the brain drain in the country, there is always a huge demand for an ambitious youth like you who has been persistently trying to meet one’s goal.

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