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Published On: February 7, 2018 10:38 AM NPT By: Republica

Better to express how you feel

Better to express how you feel

Dear Malvika
I am a 26-year-old girl working in an NGO for a year. I feel that I have been learning many things from my job and I am quite happy to work in such a fruitful environment. However, my family members have been frequently suggesting me to go for a government job as it guarantees career security and will earn me good reputation. I don’t know, but I am not interested in government jobs. One of the reasons being my doubt that if I will ever attain maximum growth in the sector. Should I go on with the work that I am doing or give government jobs a try for the sake of my family? Please suggest.

This is a very tricky matter. You need to ask yourself what it is that you want. Because this is not something I can just suggest directly. You can, of course, give government jobs a try and see how that goes. We need good working officials in the government. And if you feel that you can contribute to the society by working there then why not. But you have to be comfortable with what you do. At the end, it is you who has to bear all the pressure. Of course, the salary might not be good as you would expect. But this decision has to come from you. 

Dear Malvika,
I am a 30-year-old guy recently working in one of the Nepali companies. I like one of my colleagues, but I can’t confess about my feelings. I feel she likes someone else and if I propose her there is a high possibility that she would shut out on me. But on the other hand, I feel like I have to confess her to even if she rejects my proposal. What good can I expect until I don’t let out my feeling at the first place, isn’t it? Please give me your suggestion on this matter.

I am someone who believes in expressing how I feel. Whatever the outcome might be, it is always better to say how you feel. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart. There have been times when things were left unspoken, and there were a lot of what ifs. But like you have mentioned here she might also reject the idea. So why don’t you just ask her out casually and start meeting as friends first. Maybe a coffee or a movie and see how that goes. Then you can say how you feel. I know it might sound difficult to do so, but you will regret it later if you don’t. So go for it.

Dear Malvika,
I am a 26-year-old girl and I have been in a relationship with a guy for a year. We met during our college. He is a wonderful man who takes care of me, but I recently came to know more about him since we get to spend relatively more time together. He seems to have some interests that generally girls possess. He is fond of using make ups and at times it feels as if I am with a female friend when with him. He even checks other guys out and we talk about them. I feel that he is a homosexual and is attracted towards guys, but is trying to cover his attraction due to several reasons. I have not been able to confront him. Can you please suggest me what should I do?

You should confront him about it. As far as I know straight men do not use make up, not literally. They might be metrosexual and might look after themselves and groom themselves. But definitely not make up. A lot of people figure out their sexuality very late and this is okay. Some in their 20s and some even in their 40s, while for late bloomers it is quite frustrating as they do not know what is up with them. So pick a time and tell him how you feel. Since you guys have known each other for a long time it might be helpful for him to open up. You can be that person in his life who can guide him and help him out. I know of many gay men whose girlfriends have helped them come to in terms with a situation like this. So why not? And well if he blatantly denies it then you will have to think of something else. 

Dear Malvika,
I am a 20-year-old guy. I have been in a relationship with a girl for two years now. We met each other in our college and within a matter of days we got into a relationship. When thinking about college days, I find myself very immature and someone who least knew his priorities. Now I don’t feel like being in relationship with her. Not because I have found someone else, but because I want to be on my own to know myself better. I have not been able to tell her my feelings, so could you guide me with some better ideas on how to approach her?

There is no better way to break up. And nothing can make it easier. Communication and speaking are the only ways to go. If you feel that you cannot continue with her and you need to figure things out then so be it. Why feel guilty about it? It is better for both of you. She might not understand now, but she will later. I have been in your situation before and I know how it feels. It is okay to feel the way you feel and you should be able to tell her that. If you cannot even express how you feel then this relationship is not meant to be in the first place. Moreover, you guys are young and have your whole life to explore and experience. She will be thankful later. Not now for sure. But do tell her that you loved her and you need to just be yourself and a relationship is not what you want right now. Good luck. 

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