With the rising number of single women in Nepal, a question arises: Is Nepali society embracing singlehood? A significant portion of single women are widows, and becoming a widow is never a matter of choice. Though the average age of marriage has increased in recent years, women in past decades married at a younger age. As a result, statistics reveal that many Nepali women lost their spouses and became widows by the age of 64.
The number of people choosing to remain unmarried or getting divorced is increasing. This shift is changing perceptions of marriage, which serves as a social institution considered the foundation of family, community, and society. Experts observe that factors like gender equality, financial independence, and the desire for personal freedom-long observed in Western societies-are now becoming more prominent in Nepali society as well.
Various factors contribute to the changes in Nepali society. Some prioritize their personal growth and place marriage as a secondary concern. Many prefer singlehood, believing that marriage restricts personal happiness, freedom, luxury, and social status in modern society. They choose to avoid family responsibilities and embrace an independent lifestyle instead.
Financial independence naturally empowers women. In the past, financially dependent women had no choice but to endure domestic violence and incompatible relationships. However, as education levels rise, women continue to strengthen their financial and social status. With greater self-reliance, more women choose to live with dignity and self-respect. This shift has fundamentally changed Nepali society in recent years. Experts observe that Nepali women are learning to find happiness and move forward, even in solitude.
The latest national census data reveals a growing number of single women in Nepal compared to previous decades, emphasizing their increasing demographic presence. The National Statistics Office (NSO) reported in the 2021 census that nearly 950,000 of Nepal’s 6.6 million households have at least one single woman. As a result, single women make up 14 percent of all households in the country.
Among these 14 percent of households, widows make up 12 percent, while unmarried, divorced, or separated women account for two percent. The NSO defines single women in Nepal as those aged 35 or older who have never married, are widowed, divorced, or separated for census purposes.
Although at least one single woman lives in 936,000 households, Nepal has a total of 997,662 single women. This suggests that some households have more than one single woman.
What has caused the rise in the percentage of single women? In 2001, single women made up 1.8 percent of the population, increasing to 2.6 percent in 2011 and reaching 4.6 percent in 2021. Among them, widows account for 2.1 percent, separated women for 2.6 percent, divorced women for 0.5 percent, and unmarried women for 0.6 percent.
Did life expectancy contribute to this rise? Single women now live an average of 72.2 years, while married women have a life expectancy of 66.6 years. In 2001, single women had an average life expectancy of 63 years, which increased to 72.2 years by 2021. Likewise, married women’s life expectancy rose from 61 years in 2001 to 66.6 years in 2021.
Over the past two decades, more women have chosen divorce or separation. In 2001, only 0.5 percent of women aged 35 and above remained unmarried, but this figure increased to 0.7 percent by 2021. At the national level, 38 percent of single women lived alone in 2001. This percentage rose to 41 percent in 2011 and further climbed to 55 percent in 2021. These trends reveal that the number of single women is rising across Nepal.
What is women empowerment?
The meaning of empowerment evolves with time and circumstances. In the past, different sectors defined women's empowerment in various ways. So, what exactly empowers women, and how does it connect to the growing number of single women?
‘Happiness must be sought on one's own, no one will give it’
Artist Deepa Shree Niraula believes that one must seek their happiness within. The 49-year-old Niraula holds that her single life is both fulfilling and happy. She emphasizes that this happiness comes not from others, but from her own efforts.
Born in Biratnagar, Niraula faced societal and family pressure to marry as she grew older. At one point, she struggled with the overwhelming pressure. However, she explains that living alone became not a choice but a necessity. "I didn’t choose to live alone; I did so because of my career and work, despite strong family pressure," Niraula shared. By the age of 15, she had already made a name for herself as an artist in Kathmandu.
Her parents wished for her to settle down, but after her mother's death in 2047 BS, she took on the responsibility of managing the household. "To be honest, I got so busy with my career and work that I never had the time to get married," she says. Among her four sisters, one brother, and herself, third-child Niraula noticed her father feeling lonely. She took the initiative to help him remarry and bring stability to the family, a decision she feels satisfied with.
‘My Life, My Choice’
Deepa started her artistic journey at the age of 8 as a child artist in Biratnagar's theater and now takes pride in being a well-known name in Nepal and abroad. "The temptation in the film industry grew, and I became a director. ‘Chhakka Panja’ was a huge success, and my responsibility towards the audience has only increased," says Deepa, who firmly believes in destiny. She adds, "I was never overly ambitious because I knew high ambition could bring disappointments. However, I understood that money is essential for the future, so I focused on earning. One must have self-confidence in what they want to become. Achieving perfection in that area is key. Once you become self-reliant, happiness naturally follows in solitude."
In a society where the expectation is for women to live with a husband, Deepa believes she has set an example by showing that women can choose to live alone if they wish. She says, "Even when you feel alone in a crowd of thousands, you can still find happiness in solitude. Because I am self-reliant, I make my own decisions. No one interferes with my work. I am free. My life, my choice."
Not only Deepa, but 90,703 unmarried women in Nepal are single. This number has doubled over the past six decades. In 1961, the percentage of unmarried women was 15.51 percent, which rose to 25.7 percent in 1991. By 2001, it increased to 30.3 percent, but by the 2021 census, it had dropped to 28.4 percent.
Another group of single women includes those who have gone through separations. In the last decade, the number of women experiencing separations has significantly risen. As women's education, literacy, and economic status have improved, many women no longer tolerate oppression, abuse, or domestic violence. Instead of enduring mental stress, they are choosing to live independently, which has contributed to the rise in separations, as shared by those who have experienced it.
‘Separation is not the end of life’
Media personality Malvika Subba ended her relationship with her husband after experiencing various ups and downs in their six-year marriage. She believes that when trust diminishes between both parties, it is best to not prolong the relationship. "When small issues in the house turn into big ones, you can be sure your relationship won’t last long," Subba shares from her experience.
Subba lived a carefree life before marriage and entered into a love marriage after a year and a half of being in love. The first three years of marriage were sweet, but over time, they began to disagree on certain things. Despite these disagreements, Subba chose to stay because she grew up in a society where for a wife her husband’s home is her home after marriage. This cultural expectation made her feel obligated to endure.
However, her mother’s teachings helped her through difficult times. "I feared that getting a divorce would bring pain, but I also knew life could continue even if I endured that pain," Subba recalls. "My mother taught me that to be successful and strong, one must be self-reliant," she added. "I was that person, so I gathered the courage to get a divorce. Divorce is not the end of life, it’s the beginning. In such situations, being financially independent is crucial."
Subba, who had been used to living with her family, initially found it financially, mentally, and socially challenging to live apart from her husband. However, she persevered and gradually adapted to the situation. "I was never used to living alone, but now I find happiness in solitude. The greatest thing is that I have found mental peace. After the divorce, I have successfully advanced in my career. As a mature, working woman, it hasn’t been that difficult for me," says 40-year-old Subba.
Regarding her son's mental health, she says, "As per the court’s decision, my ex-husband and I share the responsibility of raising him." She adds, "When women get a divorce, they must claim the rights granted to them by law. Even though I did not take anything for myself, I have secured my child’s future."
Subba is not the only woman who has gone through separation. The 2021 census shows that 21,287 women share a similar experience. Over the past seven decades, this number has grown significantly. In 1961, for example, 0.3 percent of women had gone through separations, and by the 2001 census, this figure rose to 0.7 percent. By 2021, the percentage remained at 0.7 percent. This trend suggests that as women become more educated, aware, and financially independent, they are rejecting family discord and violence and choosing to live life on their own terms.
‘We must bring single women to policy level’
Among the total 14 percent of single women, 12 percent are widows, which raises concern and calls for research. Why do so many women become widows? The primary reason is the early marriage of daughters.
Lily Thapa, the founder and president of the Women for Human Rights, single women group (WHR), explains that the old tradition of marrying off daughters at a young age, the risks that men face leading to their deaths, men dying while working abroad, and women living longer than men all contribute to the high number of widows. Various studies have shown that the number of widows also increased due to many men losing their lives during the conflict period.
Thapa, a single mother of three children, lost her husband, a medical officer in the Nepal Army, when he died while participating in a peace mission in Iraq. According to her experience, most widows face economic, social, and mental distress.
‘Widowhood is not a weakness’
Kabita Pandey, the president of the WHR, became a widow at a young age. When her husband passed away in 1997, she was only around 23 years old. Following his death, she assumed the responsibility of raising their 2-year-old child. During this challenging time, her father's advice transformed the perceived weakness of widowhood into a source of strength for her.
"Even though I was a 23-year-old woman, society did not look favorably on remarriage. I sat in despair, holding my nursing child in my arms," recalls 52-year-old Kabita. "One saying from my father gave me courage. He told me, 'If you cry and sit weakly, everyone will consider you weak. As a daughter, even for your son, you must turn widowhood into strength.' After that, I let go of everything and made widowhood my strength. I focused on further education, and as I educated myself, I also became financially independent."
According to Pandey's experience, happiness must be created by oneself. One should work towards creating an environment of happiness not just for themselves, but also for those around them. "My son, now 29 years old and married, was raised with the values I instilled in him, and today, my home feels like heaven," she suggests. "The perspective towards a daughter being widowed must change. I had the strong support of both my mother and my mother-in-law. Today, I am a successful and financially independent woman. The son I once guided by the hand has now become my support. This is the kind of value we must give to our children. Being single is not a weakness. It should be turned into strength to move forward."
Single Women’s Security Fund needs to be activated
Pandey now focuses on making the Security Fund established for single women active during her tenure. The Ministry of Women, Children, and Senior Citizens arranged the Single Women’s Security Fund, but she complains that it became inactive after the country adopted federalism. "Had the government kept the Single Women’s Security Fund active, women could have easily taken loans to start small businesses. Now, this provision under local governments is nearly inactive. The state must reactivate this fund," Pandey suggests.
Pandey states that widows usually have a low educational level and limited access to healthcare. She emphasizes that the state must focus on improving the educational and health standards for single women, especially widows, in future policies. "The main reasons for the high number of widows among single women are child marriage, foreign employment, and risky work. Since women live, on average, four years longer than men, the number of widows is higher. The state must change policies to better support widows," she says.
She currently works with an organization that supports 200,000 widows. According to the 2021 National Census, 8.2 percent of women aged 10 and above are single. Among them, 2.2 percent are widowers, while 6.6 percent are widows. Regarding marital status, 99,210 men aged 35 and above are unmarried, making up 0.9 percent.
Marriage age data shows that 83 percent of women marry between the ages of 15 and 24. Furthermore, 23 percent of widowed women married before the age of 15.
The number of widows has fluctuated over the past seven decades. In 1961, 14.3 percent were widows, but this number dropped to 7.2 percent in 1991. By 2011, it had further decreased to 4.6 percent, but by 2021, it rose again to 6.6 percent.
Thapa believes that becoming a widow at an active age causes both mental stress and adds the challenge of achieving financial independence. "However, the current situation has changed. 146 widowed women have entered politics. This is a good start," she says.
The illiteracy rate among widowed women remains at 82 percent, which is a highly concerning situation. Thapa suggests that advocacy and awareness programs are still essential to eliminate child marriage. The educational level of single women varies. While separated and unmarried women have relatively better education, the literacy rate among widows is still much lower.
In 2001, the literacy rate among widows was 6.9 percent, which increased to 11 percent in 2011, and by 2021, it reached 18.9 percent. On the other hand in 2011, only 23.1 percent of literate women had experienced separation, but by 2011, this figure had risen to 44.6 percent. By the 2021 census, 68.9 percent of literate women had experienced separation.
Most separations are caused by violence: Lawyer Mira Dhungana
According to lawyer Mira Dhungana, many cases of divorce that reach the court are due to domestic violence. She explains that women in households often experience various forms of mental stress, which gradually escalate into physical violence. "It seems that women ask for divorce due to violence and their husbands’ immoral relationships with others," says Dhungana. She also mentions that many women face violence due to causes such as marital rape and dowry-related issues.
"During separation, men often refuse to give women their rightful property according to the law. This refusal forces women to endure significant economic, social, and mental stress. However, recently, as women have become more educated, they are becoming more aware," she says.
Dr Hemraj Regmi, Deputy Director of the National Statistics Office, explains that over the past few decades, women have become more literate and self-reliant, boosting their confidence. "Once financially independent, women no longer tolerate oppression or belittlement. They can support themselves, and this has led to an increase in divorces among educated women," says Deputy Director Regmi.
However, emphasizing the need to make single women financially independent, he suggests that the state should focus on online businesses, skill development, and market operations for single women in future policies.
Dhundi Raj Lamichhane, Director and Researcher at the National Statistics Office, states that the literacy rate among widowed women is around 19 percent, significantly lower than the national average of 67.1 percent for women. "As educated women improve their financial status, their dependency decreases. This reduction in dependency naturally gives them strength to protest against violence and pressure. As a result, women find happiness in living alone rather than enduring mental stress. A life without pressure is undoubtedly more fulfilling," Lamichhane says.
The 2021 census data shows that Gandaki Province has the highest percentage of single women, with 10.5 percent. Madhesh Province has the lowest, with only 5.9 percent of women living single. Karnali Province has 6.8 percent of single women, Lumbini has 7.8 percent, Sudurpashchim has 7.9 percent, Bagmati has 8.5 percent, and Koshi Province has 9.3 percent.
The overall literacy rate among single women was 6.9 percent in 2001 which increased to 11 percent in 2011 and reached 18.9 percent in 2021. The literacy rate among separated women was 23.1 percent in 2058, 44.6 percent in 2011, and significantly improved to 69.9 percent by 2021. Similarly, the literacy rate among unmarried single women was 23.4 percent in 2001, 40.9 percent in 2011, and rose dramatically to 56.5 percent by 2021. This suggests that many women are choosing to stay unmarried as they focus on building careers and becoming financially independent.
Is a policy for single women necessary?
A comparative study of SAARC countries indicates that, given the rising number of single women in Nepal, the country must change its policies regarding single women. Lamichhane argues that the government’s social security allowance policy alone cannot manage the needs of single women. "The state must now offer skill training to single women and provide subsidized loans for small and micro enterprises," he says.
He further states, "The state must create policy arrangements that provide single women with access to resources and opportunities to enhance their skills and capabilities." At the international level, many countries focus on skill development, market networks, and online businesses for single women. Lamichhane also suggests that the state adopt policies that offer legal assistance to single women and widows, helping them understand business regulations and safeguard their enterprises.