I'm a friendly person, but there's this colleague at my office who I cannot stand at all. She's always loitering around my cubicle and passing unnecessary comments. In order to keep things normal between us, I've passed her subtle hints as to how I don't appreciate her behavior and that she disturbs me, but she doesn't seem to understand. Or maybe she just doesn't care. How should I deal with her? She's been here longer than me, and other colleagues of mine seem to like her just fine. Would it create a bad impression if I talked about this to my supervisor?
--Rajesh
Dear Rajesh, I'm glad you are different and that you do not easily get provoked by people around you. You're friendly, as you've mentioned, and I assume you're smart, too. That might be the reason why your colleague wants to engage with you through some means or the other. How about being happy about it? Why don't you take this 'normally' and stop being bothered? I know it's not easier said than done, but give it a try.
It sounds like you're quite new in the office, and it may be the reason you're over cautious about everything around you and that's why you're focusing so much on what people around you are doing. But if that's not the case and she's really annoying you and disrupting your work, I advise you to talk to her over lunch. Try to know her better, and build a positive rapport with her. Politely explain why and how she disturbs you.
Rajesh, it is also important to understand that different individuals have different personalities. Your colleague is different from you, and sometimes this simple reason is enough to 'unlike' someone. I've seen this happen to many other individuals early on in their career, but with experience you'll realize that these are normal things and you should not let these things affect you or your work.
If talking to her doesn't work out and she continues to disturb you, talking to your supervisor would be great. Otherwise, taking this matter to your boss without first talking to your colleague will create negative impression of you as well as your colleague. It's like that your boss may take it lightly and you may be left in an awkward situation. So, try to resolve it yourself first.
All the best!
Roshan Rathi is the Chief Operating Officer at LCCI Nepal, an International Training and Certification Company. He can be reached at
roshan@lccinepal.com.