Hope keeps us going

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 25-year-old guy from Kathmandu. I am happy with my job, and whatever I have. However, I feel lonely most of the time. I can’t concentrate on anything. All I want to do is stay indoors, sleep, and not talk to anyone.  I am doing well at work despite my hectic work schedule. But I don’t know why I have not been feeling really good about my work. Why do I feel so restless? It feels like I may go into depression. Please help me with your suggestions.

You really have a lot of mixed emotions. You are happy and doing well with your job, but at the same time feel restless. I suggest you seek professional help. Visit a doctor and express how you feel. Don’t hesitate to take medicines if you’re diagnosed with depression. You need to treat it like any other disease, do the needful and take medicines if you wish to get better. Meanwhile, I suggest you lessen your workload. You might feel like you are doing so much and are good at it but many times, an excessive workload can also make people anxious and stressed. 

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 23-year-old girl and recently completed my undergrad studies. I am a little heavier on weight and my body size has always bothered me, lowering my confidence. I doubt my marriage possibilities too. I had dreamt that my life would be beautiful and independent, but it is not going as I had imagined. I feel low and this frustration is getting over me now which I do not want at all. I don’t want this to happen anymore and want to feel good about myself and live my life in peace. How shall I start? Please help. 

At 23, you should be dreaming about bigger goals and ambitions and not worry about your body. However, I understand that due to the media and so many additional factors in our society, young girls often find themselves trying to fit into the beauty standard set by the society. I did the same for many years but I don’t anymore. Personally speaking, I work out and eat healthy, to maintain a healthy and happy lifestyle. I suggest you look at the whole situation from a different approach. If you feel that the extra weight is making you lethargic or you have health problems because of it, by all means, change your lifestyle. If you are eating more junk than good food, and that is the reason you are heavy, try to avoid those for your own health. I don’t know if you work out, but if you haven’t and if you can I highly recommend you start soon. Working out will give you a different sense of confidence, which I think you need at the moment. Take simple steps of eating healthy and a simple workout routine and you will start feeling the difference. When it comes to marrying someone, if you do it for the looks and physical appearance, there’s a possibility that the chemistry will fade away, but if you do consider how the other person makes you feel, it will only grow stronger with time. 

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 25-year-old woman from Biratnagar. I have been happily married to my husband for a year. Before my marriage, we had a deal that I would continue my studies, but now, my in-laws are no more supportive of it. My husband has no objections regarding my studies, however; I am having a hard time convincing my in-laws. I can certainly take the choices of my life but I thought it was better to give them a heads up. Though they aren’t convinced, I still decided to carry on with my further studies. Have I taken a right decision? 

Deciding on continuing your studies and deciding in favor of your dreams is always the right decision. While I was reading your question, I was dreading you might say “I am waiting to convince my in-laws to start my studies” I had a big smile when I read that you had decided to start whatsoever. Sometimes, in life, we can’t wait for the perfect moment to begin things. As your in-laws, they should also be proud of a daughter-in-law who doesn’t give up and wants to work hard for a better future. Hopefully, with time, they will realize your point. So, don’t doubt your decision anymore and all the best for your studies and future. 

Dear Sadichha,
I am a 19-year-old guy currently in a relationship with a girl who is six years elder to me. I feel good being with her but she is a little possessive about me which annoys me at times. Even when I’m with my friends, she calls up to inquire about my friends and gets angry when I’m around female friends. I have tried to clarify her regarding all this but she seems to be insecure time and again. This has been affecting our relationship, and I feel that it is time that parts of our ways. I am hoping for everything to sort out before it’s really too late.

Let me start by answering the last part, hope is what keeps this world moving every day. So, we need to hope and wish but also work toward what we want to achieve. Why don’t you talk to her and tell her about how you feel about this possessiveness, and how it is affecting how you feel about her and the relationship itself.  No relationship is perfect, there will always be some hiccups, but moving past them and growing stronger together is what relationships are all about. Maybe something happened because of which she is behaving this way, find out the reason. She can’t possibly think or expect for you to never have female friends. But if that is the way she feels about you then you can move forward and tell her that you can’t do it anymore. Communication is the key, hence explain your situation, try to understand where she is coming from and sort things out. All the best, hope everything works out.  

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