And then the song played

I was listening to this song for the first time, but it felt like every word spoke for me. The singer’s voice echoed the ecstasy that my fresh love-laden heart incorporated. It was in the crowded city bus amid the chaos of Kathmandu public transport. People must have been talking to one another; conductors would have been calling for new passengers and bargaining for bus fare with those inside the bus, but my ears turned deaf towards those noise and newly found love was bustling in my heart flooding me completely with a new kind of feeling, giving me a great sense of pleasure, a relief, a satisfaction and an immense happiness – that’s what “love-asm” must feel like.

It was on the first day of my ninth grade when I saw her for the first time; I still vividly remember seeing her on that day, she was an hour late for class, our second period teacher was lecturing us about how grade nine is the foundation for SLC and without a solid base in this grade it would be impossible for us to achieve good marks in so-called the iron gate. Then there she came in her “neer” soaked bluish shirt, lustrous reddish hair, fair skin and my god! What a voice Sweet, soft and innocent, imparting a powerful aural pleasure to anyone who hears it, “May I come in miss?” she asked in a guilty tone. Teacher must have made an inquiry about her being late but I only remember watching her in filmy style slow motion, she talking to the teacher, trying to explain something, me watching her and watching her.

Then for few months my love story followed the common path, me trying to talk to her, staring her secretly at tiffin breaks and class lectures, and attempts to approach her through her friends, but all in vain. Until...one day when she and I were nominated class captains, Ha! Love god had listened to my prayers, now at least I need not put my thoughts on excuse to talk to her, as class rule prescribed both the captains to coordinate to maintain discipline in class; and I was full heartedly committed to coordinate with her. 

Then our co-journey of captain hood began, I coordinated with her in every matter related to class, It was my calculated move to utilize my tenure to get to know her, talk to her and at least sow the “seed” of love for me inside her heart. Few weeks passed, I was now talking to her on regular basis, although I hadn’t progressed much on love part, I was happy listening to her soft voice, seeing her from a close distance and when she called me by my name, “Amrit..” my god! Did she know I was searching for baby names for our kids? My one sided love was growing inside, she unaware of anything happening to me.

Those were the times when we did not have smartphones, Facebook or Viber to chat with; neither had we had YouTube to promptly listen to whichever music our moods prefers. It was time when we (teens) would talk to our near ones using Yahoo messenger and offline messages. Next on my To-do list was to ask for her Yahoo Messenger ID but I couldn’t just ask her “Your Yahoo ID please?” Right? However deep had I sunk in one-sided love I still had my pride. I began to think excuse for that, my plan was just to slide the word messenger while talking with her and get away with it. However, love does not come that easy, no, I could not spell the word messenger in front of her, and another full week went in vain. Finally, I swallowed my pride and asked for her messenger ID like a defeated warrior asking for mercy. “Do you have Yahoo Messenger?” beautifulove99@yahoo.com she replied, my god! Love is beautiful, that is true.

Then same-same, going to cyber cafes, paying Rs 15 an hour, or using dial-up internet at home, waiting for her to be online. As there was no Facebook then (or we did not know about it), I did not have much to do on internet. That was the time I got addicted to browsing sites, which KP Ba band a little while ago. Finally, one-day miracle happened. Ting! She was there. I rushed to her tab like a Nepali leader to an inauguration program, without thinking of anything.

“Hello”
She replied “Hi”
Now I was in dilemma, what should I ask about, What? Neither did she said anything, and in the rush I typed, “Science ko homework garayau?”(Did you do your science homework?) “What?” she replied. I read what I sent. “Idoit” I said to myself, what was I thinking. I could not bear the shame, I shut the computer down and left cyber cafe. 

Few months passed, now I was more close to her, she had became my good friend. She shared things with me; about her sister, about her friends, about herself, both good and bad.  I also shared things, but only great ones as I still was on mission to impress her. One Saturday noon I was on my relative’s home to attend some function. Children were playing, aunties were chatting, and uncles were discussing about politics, government, international relations and other mighty things. I could not find part in any of the activities. So I went to the Cyber Cafe. Unlike messages services now, which we can read over and over again, then we had offline messages which we could read only once, once you read it, it’s gone. Snapchat must have ben inspired with Yahoo Messenger’s offline message thing. I logged into my Yahoo Messenger. She had sent me offline messages, as I was about to read them, damn! The light went leaving a dark screen in front of me. Electricity connections were unstable like our governments then. I was devastated. My god! How cruel is fate, what did she write? What if she had asked for something? Should I ask her again? My blood pressure, sugar must have risen then. But to my utter relief, she appeared online after a while. Phew! Thanks god.

We expressed our love that day. She told me that she loved me, I replied like a lightening in a dark sky. My mind today simply cannot fathom the feeling I had then. A teen falling in love for the first time, finding a girl who mesmerized him on very first sight. That feeling of a sixteen year old, who lives in a moment and has a complete belief that he is going to spend rest of his life with his newfound love, unaware of how things actually work in real world. 

Happiest person in the world, I decided to go home skipping rest of the family function. As I had no one to accompany me, I took a Public vehicle. As I sat in the bus, then the song played, “Aye ho mere zindagi me tum bahar banke...” Which became my favorite song for quite a time.  

The Author is an MBA student at School of Management TU.